Know
What do you know? What do you most need to know?
In 1986 what I most needed to know came through Psalm 139. At the time, I was teaching English in China and recovering from a broken heart. I was lonely, single, and swiftly approaching 30. It was a dark, confusing time and I teetered on the edge of despair. God knew what I needed to know and planted the truth of this psalm deep into my soul, which transformed me in a lasting way.
When I stumbled upon this psalm it opened the floodgates of self-discovery. King David begins by declaring, “Oh Lord, you have searched me, and you know me.”
Whoa! Stop right there!
You know me? Really?
The psalmist goes on to tell God, “You know when I sit and when I lie down… You know my thoughts… You know what I’m going to say before I say it… You know EVERYTHING about me!”
I felt exposed! I wanted to hide.
David goes on to say, God hems me in and places His hand on me, not to pin me down or condemn me but to steady me, to assure me I am loved and accepted for who I am, right where I am.
Now I REALLY wanted to bolt!
I couldn’t wrap my head around that. It seemed too good to be true. I grew up in church and could sing all the songs and repeat all the liturgies but that day, the truth that I am known and loved just the way I am, lodged deep within my soul. As I read further, I realized there was nowhere I could go and nowhere I could hide, not even “on the far side of the sea.” God knew me and saw me even there. When I was all alone and in the dark, God stepped into my pitch-black despair and said, “I see you. I know you. I love you. You’re mine.”
But how? Why?
All I can say is it was a deep work of the Spirit, convincing me I was “fearfully and wonderfully made.” I went home from China transformed. Friends noticed a change in my countenance. I felt different, more confident, and more self-assured. A banner of new identity flew over me. It read:
I know who I am because I know Whose I am.
This epiphany set me on a path of accepting the whole of me – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Acceptance and revelation are ongoing processes, that I suspect will endure throughout our lives. The beauty of self-acceptance is that it frees us to accept others – the good, the bad, and the ugly.
To be known is daunting! It’s scary and vulnerable. But it also holds power. It grounds us and frees us to become all we’re intended to be.
Do you know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made?
Perhaps you knew it once, but you’ve forgotten it. Maybe you don’t believe it anymore. Do you long to know it again, deep in your core? We’re forgetful people, prone to wander. Mercifully, God comes after us, and whispers, “I see you. I know you. I love you. You’re mine.”
If you’ve never been secure in your identity but desire to know you’re fearfully and wonderfully made, park here for a while, and ask the Spirit of Love to speak to you, to sink this truth deep into your soul, convincing you of your worth. You are precious in God’s sight.
God is a God of revelation Who longs to reveal who you are and Whose you are. Do you long to know this? Do you need to know this?
Here’s an honest prayer:
God, you know best. You know exactly what I need to know.
Will You show me in Your way and in Your time?
“O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. ”